The current situation of the pastoral care of families in the Western world I think that it was generated by the gradual "separation" occurred between marriage and faith, between marriage as a "natural fact" and marriage as a "sacrament of faith." Conversely, the natural marriage is understood in its fullness only in Christ and it is only in Christ that can be explained and understood the sacramental dimension of marriage itself. Faith and religious mentality of marriage are conditio sine qua non for addressing our subject.

The Second Vatican Council gave an enormous turning to the deepening of  the sacramental nature of marriage and the sanctity of married life , which was followed by the magisterial teachings of successive Popes. In particular, the text of Familiaris Consortio of St. John Paul II addresses issues in a prophetic way theological and pastoral themes, compelling today, from the joys and difficulties in the couple's life up to the more difficult problematic, such as those of the indissolubility and of remarried. It is a "treasure of mastery" that must be continually rediscovered, especially in this time when the Church is forced to deal with more complex practical situations.

Of this complexity Pope Francis, in the last part of the presentation of the Questionnaire offered to the reflection of the Church in preparation for the Extraordinary Synod on the family, offered a description extremely clear and effective.

The fragility

        If, as mentioned,  the ''absence" of the faith and sacramental dimension has created the current situation of difficulty, we can understand why in the face of the situation described by Pope Francis, the pastoral practice of the Church continues to be in obvious distress and, without intending to, in fact, risks to facilitate or at least not offer viable alternatives to the above mentioned problems.

       In the paths for fiancée and fiancé, except honorable exceptions, no mention is ever a "vocational discernment", do not help the two young people to confront a human discernment of mutual suitability. Similarly, you do not offer a judgment as to the sacramental suitability, with the risk to follow the instructions about the validity of the sacrament without being able to accrue the engaged people in the capacity for the fruitfulness of the Sacrament (we know that the validity alone may not be enough to live in fullness in the state of married life). The final result of this process leads us to entrust to the spouses of the sacrament of "mean", to be efficacious sign of Christ, to those who doesn't know Christ, doesn't know what gift he received much less / knows how to live and resubmit. For the same reasons in the post-marriage pastoral the training offers end to repeat courses aimed at peaceful co-existence (or even "survive the time") of the spouses.

       Many pastoral workers use in every way to build pathways more complete but I firmly believe that the solution to overcome the current crisis is to recover the sacramental vision of marriage in view of the faith. An article written by the card. Muller (Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith) in L'Osservatore Romano on October 23, 2013 provides us with an orientation that reinforces this belief: "Those who think according to the spirit of the world, can not understand the sacramentality of marriage. The growing lack of understanding of the sacrament of marriage, the Church can not respond with a pragmatic attitude to what appears to be inevitable, but only with the trust in the Spirit of God that we can know what God has given us. Sacramental marriage is a testimony to the power of Grace that transforms man and prepares the whole Church to the Holy City, the new Jerusalem."

       That's why to be able to grasp the meaning of marriage and guess the pastoral practices suitable to meet and exceed the demands and challenges of today, we are called to move in the perspective of faith and rediscovering the sacramental fact.

The hopes

      The first hope is that the Church knows how to rethink the paths of preparation and accompaniment to the sacrament of marriage. As the Council of Trent marked a milestone for the Church in the theological understanding of the sacrament of Orders, and subsequently in the pastoral care of vocations, in the preparation of candidates for the priesthood, and their subsequent training, so we hope that it happen for the sacrament of marriage. It is a path that must necessarily start from the rediscovery of the grace of the Sacrament of Marriage, because only from the knowledge of the gift can create a new pastoral practice.
     In the current cultural context is necessary first to deepen and shape the conscience of the gift created by reflecting and preparing to live fully the structure of the male-female relationship because it is "the structure of grace": gratia perficit natura. Today the issue of education to male and female is an unavoidable issue in marriage preparation.
    On this one can and must engage the reflection and training on the gift made, or announce that only in the relationship between Christ and the Church, one can understand the fullness of the nuptial relationship for each men and women. It is the sacramental dimension to recover and provide training to the sacrament of marriage as a "great mystery" (Eph 5:32), that is grafted into the mystery of Christ and the Church.

    A further step is to rediscover just how in the Holy Spirit is given and is realizing this fullness of life in marriage. The Architect of this great gift makes that love continues to burn in the couple, brings out the beauty and novelty given through the sacrament of marriage, transforms this human reality permeating the structure of the male-female relationship and making it "real symbol of the new and eternal Covenant, sanctioned in the blood of Christ" (Familiaris Consortio, 13).

      From the knowledge of the gift and the formation of couples for the sacrament of marriage gives rise to two specific areas to be explored. One is to the spiritual life of the couple and of the family, because the Holy Spirit is given to newlyweds is source of Trinitarian spirituality for the couple and the family and leads spouses to contemplate the gift of being a "living image" of God the Trinity. The other is about identity and the specific mission of the spouses, to which the Spirit who consecrates and gives life to the pair is constituted by the family, the domestic church.
        On these issues, the family pastoral is called to be "prophecy". Not for couples who need to be perfect to receive to the sacrament but of couples, leaving molded by the Spirit, they can walk in any time / space as "flesh of Christ." Do not closed pair, intent on trying to save themselves, but to families who, knowing the community saved by the love of God, become community saving in mission. It's time to release the engagement and the couple's life by selfish  introspection  to educate the spouses to the permanent presence of Jesus in their lives in a state of donation of Easter.

         Discovering again  the identity we discover again the mission. As the seminar did not fit the young only in the day of ordering (in which he receives his identity as a priest), but also to his specific mission (the rest of his life), so it is necessary that the formation of boyfriends pushes to donate awareness of identity that is received on the day of the wedding (church home for the permanent presence of Jesus) and the specific mission, for the Church and society,  that flows from. "So the Christian family which springs from marriage, as an image and participation in the covenant of love between Christ and the Church will manifest to all the living presence in the world and the genuine nature of the Church" (Gaudium et Spes, 48).

        Even more explicitly affirms St. John Paul II: "In the plan of God the Creator and Redeemer not only the family discovers her 'identity', what she "is ", but also her "mission", what she can and should "do what." The tasks that the family is called by God to perform in history derives from her being and represent the dynamic and existential development. Each family finds within herself an appeal, that is not possible to suppress and that specifies both her dignity and her responsibility: family, 'becomes' what 'you are' "(Familiaris Consortio, 17).

       The specific mission of the spouses takes various facets, reflection of the only gift of grace. Through the spouses Jesus always say to his Church the Bride: I love you, I will continue to love you despite your flaws I will always love you. This ability to be "pontiffs of Covenant" married people live and perform in their witness of unity-distinction of the male-female and Paternity- Motherhood of God in them to build a people of brothers, in turn giving biological  life generating to eternal life, in a communion of faith and love with the ordained ministry.
       The sacrament of marriage then generates a specific way of being and serving in the Church and in society, in one unit and specific relationship of the couple with their Bishop shepherd and spouse of the Church, between married couples participating in the identical mystery of Christ who loves the Church (cf. CCC 1537, 1631), with his territory and living environment.
       "With the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, the spouses acquire a new way of being, are hired by their human reality in the very love that binds the Word of God to humanity and Christ to the Church, and then share in the same mission" (Evangelization and the sacrament of marriage, 43). It's time to activate the spiritual resources, the imaginative capacities, the passion of love that Jesus the Bridegroom to gives to his Bride the Church because the "great mystery" genres in the world "a great mission."