BENVENUTI,        

CERCA IN QUESTO SITO    

 


n.5
settembre/ottobre 2014

 

Altri articoli disponibili



Marriage and crisis of humanity

 
by
CONCETTA PHILOMENA SINOPOLI

 

trasp.gif (814 byte)

trasp.gif (814 byte)

trasp.gif (814 byte)

trasp.gif (814 byte)

'Liquid' love, in any form is canalized... that now doesn't own solidity and stability, the facilities, bases, dynamic, ready to be satisfied of any attractive opportunities, which by definition open to any semblance of satisfaction, which is not provides illusions of eternity or liability. The link no longer makes sense, the covenant can be broken, the marriage... 'contract' in 'determined' time.

Liquidity and inconsistency speaks, in many of his books, the Polish sociologist Zygmunt Bauman that examines and defines, as a scholar and a man of great experience, reports in the light of a post-modernity decadent, confused, able to drag, almost raging torrent, the structural basis of the human being to a drift ocean, devoid of obstacles and opportunities for landing.

From 62 years of married life, experienced as joy of 'exclusive possession', in a crescendo of love, tenderness and affection for his wife Janina, derive some thoughts: feelings should be cultivated ... transformation's phenomena of human experience have led to the malaise resulting in choice, values and not always consistent, men and women of our time.

By the accurate sociological analysis, verifiable around us, it is clear that the uniqueness of the relationship can not be replaced by the superficiality: it, as the same feelings, requires commitment over time, renewing with wisdom and will; the selling and conversion to object affordable personal, deep, and awareness of their shortcomings: it does not strengthen the bonds, nor helps build them.

From ties to the connections

Improper raids, existential manipulation  and adaptive tress of dynamics relational dynamics lead to false solutions, 'new' ways of feeling and action guided by a reductionism or post-modern 'disorder':  destabilizing transience; needs, wants and paradoxical attempts, irrational emotions, traumatic experiences, tragically expressed even by the news.

In the many superficial meetings  or episodic 'contacts', with no result, the bonds are replaced by connections, which the interest of each against the other runs with more or less frequency.
Being 'Love and Death' extreme experiences, 'unique' and unrepeatable: the fear of the final  creates continuous, exhausting research, of liberty from any semblance of restraint, leading to insecurity, on the contrary, the need for security restricts freedom. What appears novelty to possess, intended as a password of happiness, incites to disposable, usa e getta of unbridled consumption, to discard any good habit as routine unacceptable, not to think to offer another opportunity to help in trouble, considering its essential needs at the expense of the other, attracted and captivated by the 'temptation of temptation' (E. Levinas).

The object of temptation loses interest in favor of 'being tempted', wanted, in fact, as status: the same freedom is replaced by a new routine. The temptation is therefore 'an ambush in which we tend to fall joyfully and voluntarily', after changing name in the obstacle  (sin), which became desire / object satisfying. The instant gratification and has no ties is 'product of market, which has been able to capitalize on our ability to live in the present'.

Carpe diem

The '68 and the youth protests, looking for alternatives of relating ways considered static, to education, the values of continuity and consistency, introduce the need for instant gratification and sexual freedom suddenly be delayed, without testable consequences, to be act in escaping, in 'mass', reflection and regrets... Superficiality and carrying out enter in the private sphere, undermines what belongs to the person, the individual, in the name of freedom ready to undermine cultural boundaries and experiment with goals to reach. Prudence and philosophical reflection seem divorced from empirical reality, science itself is rarely invoked as a reference, often denied by excessive behaviors, irreverent, predominantly from risky behaviors and unruly that proclaim rights to self-destruction rather than respect for the health of body and mind, sought only when it is compromised. The rebellion prefers the illusion of being the best, most talented or intelligent than their 'parents', and, equipped with communication tools and visibility, effective means of communication, the new theoretical defraud, in fact, subsequent generations of the ability to assessment staff, convincing the futility of the past, the novelty of a carpe diem always more interesting, manipulated and used.
       Destabilizing mechanisms of informative 'power' begin to impose a disguised and unrecognizable 'dictatorship': impossible to resist, oppose any change, best  to the current to let go, do not miss this opportunity, seize the pleasure and profit of supply epidermal, ignoring the future, the physical, psychological and, even less, moral. The attempt to delete the horizon ethical requirements and religious demands, has produced appeals to the chemical evasion and tax to all sorts of addiction.

The need to put down roots

The life's choices undertake energy, time and resources in perspective... many are aware of the impossibility of thinking of losing their freedom today or tomorrow, remaining at the mercy of upcoming 'best' occasions, delaying important or final decisions. Contribution to this 'freedom' is a constant uncertainty, weak thought, the leave to chance and to every situation  another possibility, albeit negative.

This destroys the need to build, to take root, to grow: progressive processes to grow continually, that can not be improvised as evidenced by the nature... In the era of immediate achievements, personal growth, you do not get to 'snapshot' action. The most important experiences, once essential to enrich themselves personally, they are thwarted by the amount of accessible reports for tools and widespread leadership, many others live in 'situation', through the 'network'. Who has learned the systematic disengagement before the events balances convenience and profit and, if necessary, replace, abandon the defective object, chasing satisfaction elsewhere, compensating with acquaintances only 'as and when needed', for absolute selfishness, marked by substantial, usable benefit, defined 'incarnation of instantaneity and disposability' or 'pocket relations' (C. Jarvie).
But 'liquid love' is still the need to love and be loved, essential, co-essential to human nature, which continues to look for contentment, making each perennially insecure of his satisfaction, never enough to stop: a love torn between the desire of emotions and the fear of the bond. One love, of friendship or communion , who lacks the foundation, we would say, psychological, of identity that, at the first opportunity, the first sprout, as seed that fell on the stones, it will burn in the sun, having no chance to take root in the ground that 'does not exist / inconsistent '. Such a substrate, from the psyco-pedagogical point of view, appears not just incentivized shaped, enriched or made a priori, through relationships effective and essential to the formation and  the relational reason of person... coming, the shortage, from the base, or from the nonexistence or from the distortion of primary parenting, generative relationships.

The economy of the ephemeral
Consumerism fills potholes, turns into 'obsessive': houses and interior space are full of 'objects' and continuous rewards emptying the wallet, it borrows to have / get and, inevitably, there is a vacuum being (E. Fromm). The economy of the ephemeral covered with ridicule a genuine philosophy of life: the joy of being and living are reduced to the fantastic and inconsistent chimeras. Subjectivity and free choice, wrecked fighting Superego, rule and tradition, are buried with the trans-generational experience that nobody warns recall. 'Images' reflections of ourselves, we no longer believe in and belong to us and to belong, unable to know the truth, including limitations and poverty.
All this explains and describes changes and 'pathologies' of the couple relationship and of the 'marriage' obsolete or redefined term, wanting to ignore unequivocal consequences, human and generational. Attracted to a potential partner we find ourselves unable to open up to others, to appreciate quality, affinity and recognizing the existential reality, capturing aspects meaningless without giving a time of confrontation and mutual knowledge, underestimating the need to come out and get involved, establishing a dialogue for the life that reveals the mutual intention of giving themselves in totality, trust, loyalty. Weakened in the will, made superficial and fragile in the inner dynamics and gestures that true love requires, we declare, at some point, do not want to continue, they can not come to a mature, responsible decision in view of the commitment ratified in front of the community and to God. After a short matrimonial period, it then tries to come back with obvious consequences for others, young children and partner left to him/herself. Personal crisis or of the couple, psychopathologies that emerge without warning dramatically overwhelm families and communities, demonstrating the absence of relatives, friends and Church's support around couples in difficulty. Deficiencies, and socio-cultural deficit and inconsistency family membership, induce, for many decades, young people and adults vintage men to avoid marriage, or to 'cut' the bond after having celebrated it with the trappings of a tradition 'without foundation'.

Trust each other
      Building a solid foundation of every well-ordered, and a durable essential and existential needs (Eph 1: 13-23), as in this case, by adequate testing of self, the value of vocational and personal discernment to change attitudes and correcting errors, the courage to try to overcome barriers, requiring help and trusting in himself, or another, with humility, relying on a specific accompanying figures.
      Those who decided, in fact, to trust each other - after 'having chosen one' for life - know how to deal with 'together' every difficulty, every event, every season of life: a marital crisis or another obstacle in the path relational and values become 'compelling' challenges to deal with, in two invoke the presence of Christ in their midst (Mt 18, 20). Their faith is placed in the certainty of grace which the Spirit grants to overcome any suffering, pain, trial and possible incursion of evil, their hope is in the sharing of prayer and invocation, their support in the sacramental and community's life, their vocation enlivened by the participation in the ceaseless gift of Christ crucified and risen, as active members of His Presence in the context and place in which they are called to cooperate with God himself.

 

Concetta Filomena Sinopoli

Docente di Bioetica

Pontificio Ateneo Regina Apostolorum

Via Milazzo, 14 – 00185 Roma

 

 

 

 
Condividi su: